Post Christmas Blues

It is not often that I feel like sharing what I heard in church two weeks in a row, but such is the case.
I recall a potent Advent sermon some years ago, linking the passage from Isaiah that Jesus read in Luke 4:18-19, with the rest of the context, in Isaiah 61.  It was a rather potent juxtaposition of the message Jesus came to proclaim on his first coming, before his death (i.e., freedom, mercy, and healing), with the whole message in Isaiah, which also includes judgment, which is then apparently reserved for His second coming.  Get your mercy now, before the judgment comes.  A good thing to think about as we anticipate God being "with us."
This morning was on Jeremiah 31, which is quoted in Matt 2:18, just after Herod's killing of the innocents.  There is weeping in Israel, because her children are no more.  But what of Jeremiah's context?  Apparently Jeremiah didn't always write with weeping eyes; this message is happy.
The whole passage read was Jeremiah 31:10-17, of which verse 15 appears in Matthew:

 ¹⁰"Hear the word of the LORD, O nations,
   and declare it in the coastlands far away;
say, 'He who scattered Israel will gather him,
   and will keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock.'
¹¹ For the LORD has ransomed Jacob
   and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him.
¹²They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion,
    and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the LORD,
over the grain, the wine, and the oil,
   and over the young of the flock and the herd;
their life shall be like a watered garden,
    and they shall languish no more.
¹³ Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance,
   and the young men and the old shall be merry.
I will turn their mourning into joy;
   I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.
¹⁴ I will feast the soul of the priests with abundance,
   and my people shall be satisfied with my goodness,
         declares the LORD."

 ¹⁵Thus says the LORD: "A voice is heard in Ramah,
   lamentation and bitter weeping.
Rachel is weeping for her children;
   she refuses to be comforted for her children,
    because they are no more."

 ¹⁶Thus says the LORD:"Keep your voice from weeping,
   and your eyes from tears,
for there is a reward for your work,
         declares the LORD,
   and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.
¹⁷ There is hope for your future,
         declares the LORD,
   and your children shall come back to their own country.

(Jer 31:10-17 ESV)

He who scattered Israel will gather him?  Keep him like a shepherd keeps his flock?   They shall come and sing aloud?  Radiant over the goodness of God in blessing the land? Women dancing, and merry men?  The priests will be feasted, and (because?) the people will be satisfied?  This is not hard times.  This is not exile.  This is the good life.
So what the heck is verse 15 doing there?  And particularly, in light of its accomplishment in the killing of all babies/toddlers in and around Bethlehem?  How can that be a happy thing?
The main point of the sermon, I think, was that life after Christmas has Joy and sorrow, good times and bad times, like any other time.  We may spend all we have to feast well with our families on Christmas day, and come to church in new clothes, but what are we going to eat and wear the day after, if our same basic struggles remain?  We should take care how we celebrate, so we do not cause ourselves unnecessary hardships later (Mom, are you listening?), but we should also acknowledge that in this life God has given us happy and sad times.  They come together.
And in this passage, we see one of the saddest and happiest times placed right smack next to (inside?) each other.  Rachel is weeping, right after "my people shall be satisfied with my goodness," and right before "Keep your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your work." There is hope, your children will come back.
So what is Rachel weeping for, and what counters that sadness, giving us hope? Certainly there was not the immediate return to prosperity that some may have expected on the return from exile.  There was a lot of hard work, and a lot of resistance.  Israel was not as populous, nor as powerful, as it was before being sacked. (and again.) The Evangelist Matthew sees this fulfilled in Herod killing all males under 2 years old in and around Bethlehem.  I should probably know how many children we're talking about.  But even if it were a couple, how could that be a happy thing?  Mass infanticide, by the guy you have to submit and pay taxes to.  Glad those taxes are supporting good governance. :-{
But where is the hope?  We see for the second time God preserves a child in the midst of a mass infanticide by a head of government.  Whatever Satan's plans to spread death, pain, and suffering (notice Herod did this because he "became furious," v16 ESV), God preserves His remnant, He moves right ahead with his plan.  Not only would Moses not be killed at birth, he would be used to let God's people go, and to give them the law (and lead them through a long period of disobeying it!).  Not only would Jesus not be killed at birth, but He would be killed at the right time, according to God's plan -- through, of course, the wicked designs of evil men.
A friend says (quotes someone?  I don't know) that God likes taking simple evil, and making a complex good.  The trick is, it has to be pretty good, to justify the evil.  Here we have Jesus' birth, and preservation, placed alongside the senseless, furious slaughter of many innocent children.  And Jeremiah tells us that life is Good.  Which, for Jeremiah, is really saying something.  Jesus really is that Good.  And He really will wipe away all our tears, and give us Joy, and a reward for our work.

shirts

Sometimes you see the weirdest shirts around here.  Like the Curves shirt on a middle aged guy.  And people wear whatever they have to church; though they usually pick something they think looks nice, whatever it happens to say.
So last week I saw, for the second time, a guy wearing the shirt for the 200(2?) women's snowboarding championship in Japan.  I'm guessing he didn't go himself.
And today I saw one of the members of the second choir that sang, wearing a nice, new black shirt with "Suiciders" across the front.  Probably a kind of hard apple cider; sounds like something Rogue Ales would sell.  Anyway, I asked her after church, and she had no idea what it meant.  But it was a nice looking shirt.  Just not what I would normally expect to see while hearing "Jesus is born to save us."  Except maybe here.

Preparing for Christmas

This morning the sermon was on preparing for Christmas, and I was impressed by what I heard.  The preacher compared what people do to prepare for Christmas here (i.e., buy and come to church in new clothes, and feast), and what was described in three passages of the Bible.  It sank in just how important this message was, when I asked James if he was getting ready for Christmas, and he said "yeah, I put a wreath on my door."  So I thought this worth noting down.  I don't recall all the sermon, and it was all in French anyway, so some of this is a translation of what I remember, and some of it is my own thoughts/observations filling in the gaps.
First, let's consider what Joseph did to prepare for Jesus' birth:

 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

 "Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
   and they shall call his name Immanuel"

   (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus. (Matt 1:18-25 ESV)

First, Joseph approached the birth of Jesus with Justice and Compassion.  Any one of us, on finding our fiancée pregnant through no act of our own, would feel perfectly free to let her go to whatever punishment and shame she received.  Perhaps more so here, I don't know.  But Matthew calls Joseph a "just man," who sought to keep her from the public shame, and get rid of her quietly. I see compassion as well as justice here.  The just would want the sinner punished; he has compassion on her, as well.  What would Christmas be like for us if Joseph had insisted on following the law and stoning to death the (presumed) adulteress?
The other thing we see in Joseph is obedience to the angelic message.  The Angel basically tells him to do two things: Take her as wife, and name the child Jesus.  Do not fear, she's not actually an adulteress, like you (and everyone else) thinks.  Its even more bizarre than you can imagine, but not sin.  The call to name the child is something I have never noticed (as important) before, but in some places (like here) that responsibility is taken seriously.  Like Adam, who showed his dominion over creation by naming everything, a man shows his authority and responsibility over a child by naming it (well, in some places, anyway).  On both counts, Joseph obeyed the message of the Angel.  As we approach Christmas, do we pay particular attention to obeying God's word?  When He asks us to do (or not do) something, do we obey Him?
Next, we turn to Zechariah and Elizabeth, the parents of John the Baptist:

 ⁵In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. ⁶And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. ⁷But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.

 ⁸Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, ⁹according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. ¹⁰And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense. ¹¹And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. ¹²And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. ¹³But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. ¹⁴And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, ¹⁵for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. ¹⁶And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, ¹⁷and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared."

 ¹⁸And Zechariah said to the angel, "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years." ¹⁹And the angel answered him, "I am I stand in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. ²⁰And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time." ²¹And the people were waiting for Zechariah, and they were wondering at his delay in the temple. ²²And when he came out, he was unable to speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the temple. And he kept making signs to them and remained mute. ²³And when his time of service was ended, he went to his home. (Luke 1:5-23 ESV)

Zechariah and Elizabeth are described as righteous, "walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord." They were both of priestly descent. How did they prepare for the birth of Jesus?  The did so with righteousness, as we saw in Joseph, but they also did so with prayer.  They had no child, and when Zechariah goes into the Holy of Holies to burn incense, the angel says, right off the bat, "your prayer has been heard." This prayer has not yet been introduced, but it is clear by what follows that the angel is talking about the prayer for a Son.  This couple did not simply wait for God's salvation, they prayed for it.  They had no idea, I'm sure, that a child, which would save them from the public shame of barrenness (as well as from a lonely old age with none to care for them) would also turn many from their sins and provide the Lord's salvation in a much broader sense.  But they prayed, and God answered.
Another thing we notice about their preparation for Jesus' birth was the Angelic instruction regarding their own son: "he must not drink wine or strong drink." Sounds a bit like a nazarite oath, but in any case, there is cause for discipline.  In explaining discipline to my son this morning, I came up with discipline as doing what you should do, even (or especially) when you want to do something else.  We discipline our children, because we want them to be disciplined (that is, able/willing to do what is right, though they really want to do something else).  I'm not really sure why they were not allowed wine (I'm presuming this prohibition extended to Elizabeth, so long as she was pregnant, and probably while breastfeeding as well), but some times situations of life call for practicing doing what you don't want, if only to be ready for the time you have to.  (If your response to the above is "I don't drink alcohol; what's the difference?", then pick something else that you like, that you may some day be better off without, and consider disciplining yourself in regard to that.)
Zechariah and Elizabeth prayed, and they approached the birth of their son with discipline.  If we were to combine the two?  How often do we want to pray, but prefer something else? How often do we give in to hunger, fatigue, or busyness, rather than go to the only Source of Good for what we truly need?  What if we approached Christmas with a focus on praying to God for what we need (and want?!) -- that might make a good replacement for the lists to Santa... And what if we practiced doing what we knew was right, particularly when we wanted something else?
The third example of Christmas prep comes from the wise men:

 ¹Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, ²saying, "Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him." ³When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; ⁴and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. ⁵They told him, "In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet:

 ⁶ "'And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
   are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
   who will shepherd my people Israel.'"

⁷Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. ⁸And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, "Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him." ⁹After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. ¹⁰When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. ¹¹And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. (Matthew 2:1-11 ESV)

I won't go in to speculations about what these men went through to get to Israel.  Certainly it was a long voyage, and there were many preparations to make.  Certainly there was much study in finding the star, and knowing its significance.  Certainly there was something in them that wanted to worship this new born king, or they would not have gone to such trouble.  But How did they worship him, and what kind of preparation did they make for the time that they did, in fact, find him? They brought him gifts, and not just any gift.  Gifts fit for a King, a priest, and/or one who would die.  Gifts that acknowledged the character and value of the one born, however they could have known that.  When we come to celebrate Christmas, do we come bearing gifts?  Sure we give gifts to each other.  Anyone would do that:

"If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. (Luke 6:32-33 ESV)

But do we prepare for Christmas by readying gifts for Jesus?  He is the one we are here to celebrate, after all.  What would that look like?  What kind of gift would you offer your Lord, who bought you with His own life, and gave you everything of value that you have? David gives us one idea:

¹⁶For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
   you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:16-17 ESV)

So how will we prepare for Christmas, by preparing for Jesus a gift that he will not despise?  How will we search the depths of our sinful hearts, and scorn the evil wicked motives we find there, and run yelling and screaming for Grace to the only One who is willing and able to give it?  It would be nice if God would be happy with us killing a cow (especially if we got the meat!) But He wants us, not a cow. Nor anything else we might try to buy Him off with.  How will we prepare this gift, as we come to worship Jesus in the celebration of his birth this year?
So let us prepare for Christmas in righteousness (including justice and compassion), obedience to God's word, prayer, discipline, and the gift of our own lives, broken and useful for the advancement of Christ's kingdom.

Getting the Chicken Across

When I was in high school, we did lots of brain teasers and logic puzzles. One was about a fox, a chicken, and a bag of corn.  You have to get them all across the river, but your boat can only carry one thing at a time.  If you leave the fox and chicken alone, the fox will eat the chicken.  If you leave the chicken and the corn alone, the chicken will eat the corn.  So how to you get them all across, one at a time?
You get the chicken across first.  Then you bring over either one of the other two, it doesn't matter which.  Then you bring the chicken BACK, then the other item over.  Then you go back and get the chicken again.  That way, the only two things you've ever left alone are the fox and the corn, who don't care about each other.
As fun as these puzzles are, I was thinking about this recently, because this seems like a recurring motif in our lives. In order to get something done, we have to do something else first.  Then to do a third thing, we have to undo the first thing we did, then we have to do it again later.  Put everything from the boxes on the table, so you can see what it all is.  Then put it back in boxes, so it doesn't take up the whole room.  Build a makeshift counter to get some stuff off the floor, so you can see the floor to plan the real cupboards.  Figure out your Email, so you can know what people are writing you, so you can figure out what to write back.  Collect everything that is being asked of you in one place so you can prioritize it, then start on the most important.  When I put boards on stacked bricks (not cinder blocks!) to get some books off the floor, I never imagined they would still be there now.  But the makeshift works for now, and there are other higher priority items to be done today.
Make space to be able to think. Use the space. Clear the space for something else. Get some rest. Get out all that stuff you threw in boxes to make space earlier, and figure out where it should go.  Then put everything back in boxes until you get real furniture. Get more money. Order more furniture. Then go and ask (again) how your furniture is coming.  Get the furniture. Get stuff out of boxes, and put it up.  Now use the space made by those boxes to get out more stuff, and figure out where to put it.
Anyway, there seems to be a lot of chicken-moving to get the foxes and bags of corn in this world where they belong.

Sects and the Bible

I had a conversation with a couple ladies today, on the way home from church, who offered me some of their literature.  They are part of a group that calls themselves Christian, while they deny basic tenants that Christians, in general hold, and which started in the US not long ago (as religions go).  They have a surprisingly strong presence here, and a good chunk of money.
I talked about false prophecy and methods of Biblical interpretation, and they toted some party lines, but also some creative defenses of their materials. One of my goals in the conversation was to find out if there was a chance they would listen to reason, or if they were beyond listening to contrary viewpoints.  Unfortunately for that goal, one of the characteristics of people in this area in Congo, which I have had pointed out to me by several Congolese, is the habit of agreeing to your face, then acting as they please.  So several times I got things like, "yes, that was a false prophecy, I see." followed by a roundabout defense of the the prophecy as just.
In one attempt to cut to the chase, I grabbed some of their material, and skimmed for heretical interpretations.  I have looked through there material several times, and it seems like it doesn't ever take long before I found something wacky. But I didn't find anything immediately (under the pressure of the conversation, probably), so we went back to the Bible, prophecy, and Jesus.
The short version of that conversation is that both women turned out to be strongly convinced that they are in the True church, and nothing I said was allowed to inject the slightest perceptible doubt.
But I had some doubt myself, that perhaps their church had gotten less wacky since I last looked at their materials, since I didn't immediately find something in that booklet.  So tonight I took a more leisurely gander at it, and boy, I was not disappointed.  One short article took you through Ezekiel, Daniel, 2Kings, and a couple other books to prove exactly how, why, and when the Judgment day would begin (when it would end was in another article). There were, of course, the confusions about who exactly Jesus is, but I won't bore you with the details.
The thing that struck me, again, was how reasonable and logical much of the writing is.  Take lots of correctly interpreted scripture, throw in one wacky interpretation, and everything that follows sounds right, but isn't. The above trip through Daniel, etc. started with a statement of Jesus, which is clearly in the future tense.  But for some reason they interpret his comment to refer to a period that started 600 years earlier. hmm... They kind of glossed over that part.
Like one of the last things they said, of 1Tim 2:3-4: "This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, ⁴who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth," in the ESV. Leaving aside the meaning of "all people" here, this verse was quoted to demonstrate that accurate/precise knowledge was necessary for salvation. They are saved because they come to the knowledge of the truth (their French version said "exact knowledge," though that may be their own translation, as the two French versions I have here don't have "exact").  No, actually, salvation and knowledge here are two independent items desired by God. Whether there is any other relationship between them is not mentioned here (not that it couldn't be demonstrated elsewhere, just not here). They sound logical, but their logic is flawed.
As I reflected on this later, I realized that, for a number of these concerns, most people would probably just glaze over them.  These ladies had pretty good French, and probably sound much better in Swahili.  Most people would probably look up to them, and not really question what they say, if it sounds reasonable.  Most people here have a hard enough time reading the Bible for themselves, that they probably welcome an educated person who makes sense, and who will tell them what the Bible means. Most people would not be able to get past the language, much less the logic and content embedded in the language. Which brought me back to the urgency of our task.  People in America who fall prey to these influences are somewhat responsible for their own demise.  They could read the Bible for themselves, if they wanted.  They could go to church and learn from others, fairly easily (without crossing language or cultural barriers, anyway).  But people here generally have to read the Bible in a second or third language, and it isn't easy for them like it is for me (and you?).  When did you last read Shakespeare for fun, much less something in French or Spanish?  We need to get the church here solid defense against heresy.  We need to get her a foundation that she can build on, that will withstand tests in time.  We need to get her the Bible, in languages that her people can easily understand. And we need to do that sooner, rather than later.

The Wrath to Come

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And

    "If the righteous is scarcely saved,
   what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"

 Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

I don't normally go in for prophecies, and I'm not claiming that this is one.  But Kim and I have independently had similar impressions in the last couple months, so I thought it was worth writing down. My Bible reading program, in September and October, goes through Isaiah and Jeremiah.  Which I have read through many times, of course, but this time, each time I heard of God's judgment and wrath on his own people, it seemed somehow to be more than just a message for Israel.  It was as if God was saying to me "it is going to get harder for you before it gets easier."  Which is a weird thing to hear when you're living in a city with a strong UN military presence, where there has been a recent history of ethnic (and other) violence, and where no one else has dared bring their children to live in the town (there is another missionary family with kids, but they're on furlough now -- we hope to see them again soon!)  Where the house we finally found in our budget needed work.  Lots of it.  And where we have to live in it while we're fixing it up. This last is perhaps the most upsetting of it all -- for us, who crave stability and a home, to be living in an eternal workshop. What do you mean its going to get harder before it gets easier?  How long can we go on as is, much less harder?
But I took that as an encouragement, like the Israelites needing to go through exile before being brought home.  Being told that ahead of time reminds you that God has a plan, and this hard stuff is part of it.  God is in control, and in the end we will all understand that He has done it, so He will get the glory.  Which doesn't make it less hard, but at least we get to see the point.
Then these last couple weeks, Kim has been reading The End of the Spear, by Steve Saint.  She's happily sharing with me throughout her time reading, until she gets to the end, and sees the purpose of God in two early deaths in the same family.  And suddenly she has this strong impression that this was not for them, but for us.  Not a conversation where you say, "that's nice honey," and turn the TV back on.  We prayed through it that night, asking for peace and understanding.
The next day, I realized that it didn't matter (in a sense) if these were from God, telling us that we have serious tragedy ahead for our family.  God has called us to a life where hardship is a daily reality, regardless.  Whether or not we will one day see one of our children die, we have a daily responsibility to get on with the work that God has called us to do here and now.  Whether or not God will one day bring us one of the scenarios that have, in the past, happened to other missionaries in this area, cowering out of fear of that possibility would be irresponsible.  Supposedly Caesar said "It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience." In the same way, I think being daily responsible to a hard task may be harder that living up to a once in a lifetime horrific tragedy. In any case we know we are called to the daily hardships now, and the later is speculation. Let us not live in fear of death before we are actually called to die.  When that moment does come, we will pray for the strength and courage to continue until we know what the sacrifice was for.

hope, revisited

After my last post, I took the opportunity to spend a few minutes in the "garden" with the boys.  We dug up some of the many things we don't want growing there, turned the dirt with some fertilizer (the one thing the bats are good for), and transplanted the tomato.  It was a stirring moment, like something out of Field of Dreams -- a man struggling to do something that no one else understands, yet which provides him hope and purpose for the moment yada yada yada....  But the kids got to see the usefulness of bat dung again, which is always cool for our boys.
Then I looked out later and didn't see anything there at all.  I asked the kids, and they disavowed knowledge.  Here is a pic I took the next morning:

No more than 12 hrs after planting it, our DOG, who is so hot she has no business living on the equator, sat on it. Rolled in the freshly dug up (and cool) earth, actually.  Which I'm sure was fun for her.  Ha ha.
But I had not even passed the second of the five stages of grief over my dead tomato plant of hope, when the children brought news of more volunteers on the compound.  That's the great thing about the equator.  Even though its so hot that dogs bred for elsewhere feel the urge to roll in your garden, stuff grows like crazy, like it or not.  Which has been good, given the time we've been able to set aside for gardening (i.e., none).
But with all these ups and downs, I guess that's why the scriptures say

hope

The Bible reading program I use recently took me out of Isaiah, into Jeremiah.  So as I've pondered our life here, and how hard it seems, I've had many messages of condemnation and difficulty to reflect on.  And I've wondered if things are just going to get harder and harder.  And they might.
But this morning the psalm was Psalm 86, which ends

   Show me a sign of your favor,
   that those who hate me may see and be put to shame
   because you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me. (v17 ESV)

Now I'm always weary of seeking signs, having too many examples in my so far short life already of how wrong people go by them, in addition to Jesus' own admonition.  But this caught my eye.  Then comes the selection from Jeremiah, which includes a letter to the exiles in Babylon:

"Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. (Jeremiah 29:4-7 ESV)

So anyway, I thought that an interesting juxtaposition.  What some might call coincidence.  Or maybe God is saying to us, like He said to the exiles, life is hard where I've put you, but settle down and make the best of it, because you're going to be there awhile.
And the crowning irony? This morning I found a volunteer tomato plant next to our house. Having had no time whatsoever to garden, this is an amazing Grace to me. Less than five minutes before reading these passages, which specifically mention gardening.  Perhaps God has a plan after all, and perhaps it really is Good.

Thailand is in America, right?

I went to buy sugar and flour at the market the other day, and had an interesting conversation with the shop owner.  He asked me where Thailand was, and I told him Asia.  No, I thought it was in America. Well, take a look at their script on the bag... But Viet Nam, that's in America, right? Um... I wasn't sure how much geography to get into, but I thought it was an interesting mistake.  He made another observation before I was able to get away:  But they are both much more developed than Congo, right? Hmm... not sure about that, but I didn't think so.  The thing is, these countries export there rice and sugar to Congo, and everyone here buys it over the local stuff. I think it is even cheaper than the local stuff (when you can get it), though its been shipped and trucked across an entire hemisphere to get here.  So they must be developed nations.  When I told him I wasn't sure, he asked when they could export all that food then, when people here can't/don't produce as much.  I'm sure that someone from the World Bank would have something to say, right or wrong, about this.  I just said that it was a good question, and that it was one for the Congolese, not me, to answer.  Anyway, maybe it's a question of relative poverty; I seem to recall DRC on a "bottom 10" list somewhere recently, in terms of GDP, or some such.  Then again, the guy we bought our car from (who now has a newer, bigger one) has a bustling business in fuel, gold, diamonds, cigarettes, and now cell phone service.  Not quite the "sin tax" guy, but close.  I don't think he sells alcohol.  But he seems to be doing OK.  So maybe the "buy foreign" campaign was too successful.  Or maybe there is a self image issue, where Chinese goods are cheap and don't last (their words, and a common opinion of the goods sold here), but they're better than the ones we make.  Sounds like we've all got our work cut out.

First Fruits

I like mangoes. really. Like I really like mangoes. I could have one with every meal. Or two.  So when we found that our compound had three mango trees, it wasn't just the kids who were excited.  And a month or so ago, when the first ones started getting ripe, and falling when you touched them, boy was that a happy time for me. For a bit.  See, while not really a big city person, I have lived in cities of 5+million more than on compounds with as much land as we have here.  Which means there's a lot about agriculture that I don't know. Like firstfruits.  I have seen this concept in scripture so many times, of the offering of the first of your produce.  And recently I saw this concept again in 2 Thessalonians:

But we ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers beloved by the Lord, because God chose you as the firstfruits to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth. To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter. (2:13-15 ESV)

I always thought of this as first, or perhaps also best, as in giving your best to God.  Don't sift through the produce of your fields for the stuff you don't want; give the first stuff you get.
But with mangoes (and perhaps with other firstfruits, I wouldn't know), there is good chunk of time between the firstfruits and the rest of the fruit.  Why, I don't know.  But We must have gotten some 8 mangoes of one of our trees, then nothing.  We had one ripe each day for a good solid week, then nothing.  Just a couple hundred slowly growing, without a one close to ready.  And I've looked around town, and all the mango are like this, at about the same stage of development. We are still probably another good week away from our next ripe mango.
So as I thought about the above verses applying to us, there seemed to be another interpretation, that Paul may well have intended.  The fruit that comes before the rest (particularly if it comes some time ahead, like these mangoes) is something of a pioneer class.  So if God chose some to be the firstfruits of salvation in an area, they are not just first/best or whatever, but it is probably also intrinsically harder for them.  Which makes sense in the context of the pioneer expansion of the church.
This last week, we were considering the fact that (I think this is true) we have the only white kids in town.  There is another expat family with two children, but they're back in the states for awhile.  Lots of single expats, a few couples married with grown kids, or none yet.  But there are lots on the way, we hear. Which makes us a kind of pioneer, as well.  This area has a long history of missionary activity, with one mission having had some 67 families.  Now there are NGO workers galore, but few missionaries. And UN workers come single, or without their families. As things settle down and become more peaceful, we expect there to be more and more expat families, but in the mean time we get to get along without much interaction in the context of our own language and culture.  Not impossible, by any means, but not the easiest, either. So we'll get together and sing hymns and watch movies with people we can speak English freely with, but also share our beignets with the kids across the street.  On our morning walks we practice our greetings (which no one seems to mind) and get to know the town, and how to find home.  And get stared at by the kids that think eyeballing us is more interesting than walking to school. Oh, well. 
I guess I just needed the reminder that maybe this is supposed to be hard, but worth it.  We look forward to the day when we are established and surrounded by many colleagues, both pat and expat, and getting some good work done. One day those hundreds of mangoes are all going to ripen, and I want to be there. :-)

the test

^{I've been trying to make sense of some stuff we've been going through, and I think I've got something.  Not particularly happy, but somewhat settling, anyway.
At group conference in July, the theme was "Strength through Weakness," or something like that. The speaker talked on several passages in 2 Corinthians, which I found very encouraging. One day included the following verses:
24}Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. ²⁵Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; ²⁶on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; ²⁷ in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food,^[a] in cold and exposure. ²⁸And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. ²⁹ Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant? (2 Corinthians 11:24-28)
Ironically, this was the same day we were to give our testimonies, and I had chosen these verses to describe our life since our last conference, some three years earlier.  I should mention (as I did then) the caveat that (as the speaker said) our struggles were not to be compared with those of Paul -- we have never been actually lashed or beaten with rods, for instance.  But what strikes me about these verses is the manifold nature of the suffering. Paul encountered danger from all sorts of angles: from men (Jews and Gentiles, and people who don't care, but just want your money); nature (city/wilderness/sea); physiology (unmet needs for sleep, food, drink and covering); and psychology (anxiety for the churches).  While we have not suffered the same events, I've found the number of different angles we get hit from to be exhausting.
While undergoing burnout therapy during furlough, we were counseled to try to limit our move to the field to as little as two weeks, if possible.  This is because of our long history of moving (some 13 moves in our first four years of marriage?), which has been very stressful for us. But manageable, assuming most other things are under control. We are now in our sixth month in Congo, after some six weeks in Nairobi, and we're still putting up the ceiling on our house.  We've been in this house some four months, one of which I was off doing an alphabet seminar, and another of which was taken up by an overland trip to conference in Kenya.  We've done a lot to the house so far, with now fairly reliable water and electricity, a dining room table and chairs, a few desks, and a living room couch. But we still feel the need to seal the rest of the ceilings and get a few bookshelves and some kitchen counters (and a bit of tile on the cement in the kitchen and bathroom would be nice, and Kim would add to this list. ː-)) We go to sleep at night often exhausted (emotionally and/or physically), asking when it will end.
We came back from our first term on 70% of our support quota, which meant we were cutting meat and cheese from our diets, and looking for other things to cut. Which is, again, manageable, assuming most other things are under control (this was when we were still trying to figure out why our four year old was having loose stools and wetting all the time). This also came up in our burnout processing, where I realized that this was more stressful than I had realized at the time, and we renewed our commitment to raise 100% of the funds needed for our work and life. So after we got our burnout more or less under control, we got to talk with our partnership about finances.  God provided amazingly, through small and larger sources, and we got up to 100% (of our new quota, which was larger for our new location) before a delayed return to the field.  This was during the economic trials everyone was going through in 2008/9, so we thought that would be fairly stable.  Then there was apparently another wave of economic trouble, as several people have stopped giving. Last month, when we were expecting annual gifts to cover debts, we received 60% (our lowest in over 12 months).
Neither our house nor our finances would be as stressful alone as they are together. If we had more money, I would hire more people to help, and just order and pay for bookshelves, etc. and get it done. On the other hand, if the house were set up, I would have more time to get stuff done (the stuff we were sent here to do, not the house setup stuff I'm doing now) and write to people back home about it, and they might get more excited about supporting us.
Speaking of what we were sent here to do, we completed alphabets and charts for three languages in June, and I have yet to finish writing up that work.  There is at least one interesting paper to write in what we did, in addition to processing what went well, and what didn't, for the next workshop.  There is also the follow-up.  There was a guy who was interested in coming by to work on a dictionary in his language, which I would love to have him do, but there are some legal and logistical hurdles to get over first, and I haven't finished those.  It would also be nice to catch up with the guys who were at the workshop (some of whom are in Bunia) to see what they've done with the Alphabet charts we gave them, and to encourage them. And that's where I hear Paul writing "the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches."  and I'm not yet to thinking much about the work we're planning for FY2009-10. I want so bad to see this work done.  I hate so much that I'm a barrier to seeing it done, and that our needs as a family are a part of what's keeping some things from moving forward. So it's not just living with bat dung falling on you, or not having as much money as you'd like to fix it, but knowing that the time you're wasting in this transition period could be used for other things.
Anyway, not as impressive as "shipwrecked and beaten," but those are our big three right now, as they have been for some time.
Enough with the sob story.  Yesterday we read 2 Corinthians 13:5,
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! (ESV)
I've seen this verse many times before, but never connected the test so closely with the presence of Christ in the believer. At least, it is clear to me now that the necessary and sufficient condition for passing the test is having Christ in us.  That is, the test is passed if and only if Christ is in you.  So what is the test? Paul had talked earlier about persistent suffering as a mark of the ministry:
 ⁷But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ⁸We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; ¹⁰ always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. ¹¹For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. (2 Corinthians 4:7-11 ESV)
And as I read this, I am so puzzled (and sometimes angry!) that God would leave his servants at the brink of death, but not let them die.  I have so often felt so close to cracking, yet somehow never do.  We have often relied on the verses in chapter 1:
For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. 9Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 10 He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 11 You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many. (2 Corinthians 1:8-11 ESV)
The theme of continued peril, while escaping death, seems recurrent.  And these two verses shed some light on why. We have for some time insisted that peril makes us rely on God, and depend on the prayers of others, as in these last verses from chapter 1. But what of chapters 4 and 13? "We who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh."  So perhaps it is not just to make us rely on Christ, but to show the life of Christ in us.  Is this the test?  Is God showing us, by persistent, manifold suffering, that Christ is in us -- proven by the fact that, though we feel like giving up, we haven't?  I'm not sure what forces kept us going until the end our our last term, but this makes a lot more sense than our bootstraps. How many times have I said, I would die right now, if Christ were not compelling me on (ch 5:13-15)? I have long said that God uses suffering to prepare us for worse trials later, and several times I have stopped and said, "If this is what we're going through now, what is God preparing us for?!?!" But it is somehow strangely comforting to look back at all those times we bent but didn't break when God took us through hard stuff before. As John Piper wrote:
Why does God allow this? No, that is not quite the right question. We have to ask, Why does God appoint this? These things are a part of God's plan for his people just as the suffering and death of Jesus were part of God's plan for salvation (Isa. 53:10, Acts 4:27-28) (Let the Nations Be Glad, ed 2003 p 84)
Reading through his "Six Reasons God Appoints Suffering for His Servants" again is humbling. I won't quote them all here (though they're well worth the read), except for the first sentence of point six: "The suffering of missionaries is meant by God to magnify the power and sufficiency of Christ." The chapter on suffering ends "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.  And the supremacy of that glory shines most brightly when the satisfaction that we have in him endures in spite of suffering and pain in the mission of love."  Wow.  May that be said of me.

The Power to Blog

Last Friday we were out of power all day. Normally it comes and goes throughout the day, so this was a bit abnormal.
But it came back on during the evening, which is not abnormal, as there is less usage then, giving us better service (I presume this is why, anyway).
But then Saturday we didn't have any power either, so we ran on inverter, powered by the batteries.  The batteries are normally charged by a couple of chargers that can take 90-260V, so whatever the city sends us, they are generally charging, if there is anything at all.  So when the power cuts, we switch to the inverter, and run on batteries until it comes back, at which point the batteries recharge.  This system has worked well for most of our time here.  In fact, it has worked so well, that we leave the inverter on overnight, so we don't have to switch to it in case of a power out during the night -- leaving our security lights always on, even as we sleep through power cuts.
But Saturday night, the power didn't come back.  Sunday morning I talked to a neighbor, who said it was a problem with a substation.  If this was the case, I didn't expect anything fixed until Monday at the earliest, so we prepared for an evening without lights or music. Monday we had high hopes that it would be fixed, but as the day wore on, we saw no change. Meanwhile, I went to the university to figure out some last minute immigration paperwork, and scheduled a trip to town hall for the next day.
I think it was about Tuesday that we started talking about getting a generator, though we remained hopeful that power would come back any minute (it has sooo many times before!)  Somewhere around here we noticed ways that we just weren't getting as much done as we should, and that waiting on the city was not a feasible option in the long term.  I went to the town hall, where we needed a certificate of residence, and another certificate of good conduct, for each passport, 10 documents in all. He said that was $15 ea., or $150 together. He was going to draw up the papers based on the information I gave him, and I could pay and pick them up at 9am the next morning.   Afterwards, I visited the rector of the university, who told me that he got one of these documents for his wife for $2.
Wednesday we got most of the paperwork for our visas done, but got stalled on the visit to town hall.  I arrived at 9:10am, and found the guy starting the paperwork that I was going to pick up at 9am. He said that I should come back the next day, since his boss wasn't around much to sign the forms today anyway.  No, I said, you were going to give me the forms this morning, because I need to hand them in today at noon. They are leaving for Kinshasa early tomorrow morning.  OK, he says, I'll fill everything out, and then go find him and ask him to sign them there.  Fine.  Now this is where Justice Boy can't keep his mouth shut. So, I says, I hear these documents only cost $2. I short skirmish ensues, including the production of a piece of paper that shows that the price for these documents is ... $2.  But we charge foreigners $15, trust me. hmm...  Then he says something that amounts to, if you don't accept what I'm offering, come back tomorrow (which I've already told him is too late for us) and talk to my boss.  Wait, I say, let's fill out the paperwork, then talk to your boss, and whatever is right, I will pay, but today.  No, we shouldn't do anything until we can agree. At which point I realize I should not be speaking, and take my leave.
I talked to the university rector, who said he would go see the guys at city hall that afternoon.  He knew where the boss was that afternoon, and he had some clout with him. So I let that go, and finished off the rest of the paperwork and photocopying (via camera and printer) that we needed to send with them to Kinshasa.
Thursday morning, with still no power, we decided we needed to get a generator the same day, whatever it took. I called a pilot friend, who has a bit more experience in these things, but he wasn't available until later.  So I started on the wiring (so we could plug the generator in and not, say, blow up the house by having the city power come back on at the same time.  On a trip to the university to clarify a couple last immigration details before they left Bunia, I got called to go back to the town hall. Apparently they needed the money.  When I got there, after much discussion, I found out that I didn't really need to be there, though I imagine it was good to be forced to see this particular bureaucrat again. The short version is that the rector was persuaded that $15/doc was the right price, but he got them to come down to $10.  How that works, I'll never know.  If it really is the state mandated fee, how can you negotiate it down 30%?!?  Anyway, I was practicing letting someone else have control, so maybe that was good for me, too. Coming home, we still didn't have power, so I went out to check out generator options.  Apparently there is an "Astra Korea" for about $200, which puts out 3kW.  Turns out it's made in China. Huh.  There is also an "Astra Koera" with about the same specs and pricing (and color scheme).  Usually misspellings indicate a pirating, or an attempt to borrow off the name without actually pirating the (whole) name.  Like Mike shoes, or a Somy radio... So who is pirating the Chinese here?  In Bunia, Chinese products are usually the standard for what isn't quality. Go figure. Maybe they thought they were copying a Korean name, as at least one salesman told me it was made in Korea (though 3 min online says otherwise). I know I'm coming back with with the pilot later, so I leave with the information, and figure out what else I need in wiring land (two phases coming into the house, two stabilizers between them and the house, an inverter that needs to go through one of those stabilizers (to get 110V), and now we throw in a generator, which will do everything the two phases from the city do, but never enter the house at the same time).  He ended up finishing his day and coming by after dark, so we talked and made plans for the next day.
Friday I finished wiring, bought a switch and the generator (ended up going with the Astra Korea for $185), and found out that we need to run it without a load for four hours, since it is new.  Just like a car, as if I've ever had a new car... So I get it home, put it in place, add oil, and start it up at 12:30.  While it's running, we shut it off for an hour to do some video with a couple guys who have come to document the Bible Translation work in eastern DRC. So at 5:30pm, its ready to turn on, and I go to my office to turn the breakers all off (to make sure that things are working well before putting the full load of the house on it), and find that the city power has just come back.

Epilogue
We we've had great power the last two and a half days (for Bunia, that is -- always on and off, but enough to keep the batteries charged), and this morning I tested out the generator to make sure everything was working well, and that it could handle the load of the whole house OK.  Everything went fine.  It kicked off the low voltage switch the first time I switched it over, so the power on surge caused more of a voltage drop than we'd like (meaning it isn't as strong as our 2kW inverter), but it worked the second time just fine.  Anyway, next time the electric company of Bunia decides we an our neighbors don't need power for a week, we're ready.

Wesay -- A Cool Dictionary Tool

I found this short video on the WeSay website. I think it speaks for itself.

Weeping and Joy

This morning I read the following:

"This day is holy to the LORD your God;And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, do not mourn or weep." For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. Then he said to them, "Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:9-10ESV)

I was honestly a bit shocked, as it was evident from context that this last phrase has been completely empty of the meaning that the context here clearly gives it.  I'm not sure how many songs I have sung about the Joy of the Lord being my strength.  But I've always thought of it in terms of relationships between the Lord, joy, and strength as in Psalm 28:7 (NKJV):

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
         My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
         Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
         And with my song I will praise Him.

That is, I have always meant that the Lord is in focus when considering the origin of the strength, and the Joy is a byproduct (of his help, provision, etc.).  As if I could hum a couple words of the song "The hmm hmm hmm Lord is my strength," and the meaning wouldn't change much.  And that goes with my basic outlook on life--Joy is a nice byproduct of what is right, when it comes, but don't count on it. But that doesn't do justice to the context of the words in Nehemiah.

So I did a search.  Certainly a song I've sung all my life could not be taken so wrongly from scripture, or else surely I could not have a minority interpretation of it that was never corrected?  The song must come from another use of the phrase in scripture.  But where?  I looked through six popular versions (how many can we get before the rest get at least one?!?!) for verses containing "joy," "Lord," and "strength."  And I found nothing of the sort anywhere, in any of them (fyi, I checked NIV, NASB, NLT, ESV, KJV, NKVJ -- I didn't bother with the ones that have come out since I was a kid).

So I'm left to hope that I was the only one who didn't get it, and never got corrected.  But it certainly doesn't look to me like Ezra, Nehemiah, and the Levites didn't have Joy as a byproduct of faith in mind.  Joy seems to be an appropriate and necessary response to  the holiness of God.

Which brings me to another issue that seems to keep coming up.  It seems we Americans (at least) have a hard time talking about sin, unless it is someone else's, or collective (essentially still someone else's).  We don't like to admit that we are guilty, and that our sins deserve death, and oh, so much more.  But it seems like we miss the point/context of the Good News if we don't get sin.  Otherwise, from what are we saved? Or is the good news that we had a pretty good life, and Jesus made it better? So I've spent a lot of time thinking and talking about the reality of sin and its consequences, since that seems to be a message that is otherwise absent.

But here the people get their sins.  The people wept when they heard the law because they had listened to it, understood it, and applied it to their lives (collectively and/or individually might not be distinguishable here?).  They knew their lives were contrary to the word of God and that He had wrath--righteous anger--against them, because of it. And so they were crying.  Which again matches the way I have thought: if we're guilty, then we should feel it, and showing others (genuinely) doesn't hurt.  But this wasn't right.  The people heard God's word for the first time in a long time, and it convicted them.  But hearing His word also made the day holy (I presume that's what did...), so weeping wasn't the appropriate response-- Joy was.

Which brings me back to my issue.  We don't get the Gospel if we ignore sin, but we don't get it either if we stop at sin. There have been traditions that have been criticized for focusing on sin, and perceived to walk around morose all the time. I think they're generally more right than the Sunday morning rock concert-goers, but the problem for us all, I think, is to hold the two both firmly, and keep applying them both.  The holiness of God, and the application of his word to our life brings grief, for we are sinners.  But it also brings Joy, because He is holy, and as well our God (which should be enough to make our heads spin!)   If God in Christ has accepted us despite our sins, having paid for them himself, how can we not have joy?  Jesus is both Just and the Justifier of the ungodly (i.e., us), how can we not have Joy?  If in our confession of sin, Jesus shows himself faithful and just (how can you be both faithful to a sinner and just at the same time?), and if He not only forgives us of our sins, but also cleanses us from all unrighteousness, how can we not have joy?  I confess that, as hard as I have made out joylessness in Christ to be, I have managed it enough times.  So I guess I may have pushed a bit too far on 1 John 1:8, and need to focus more on v 9 (8-10 will come in time, I presume!):

⁸ If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  (1John 1:8-9 ESV)

A New Experience

Last night I threw up a burp.  Just about the grossest thing I have done in awhile.  I guess it was the reverse of a 'verp,' where you get chunks coming up on a burp.  After a day or so of upset stomach/intestines, I felt the chunks rising in my throat, ran to the bathroom while trying to contain them, opened the toilet and let loose -- air.  Nothing but air (and stench, of course).  Anyway, I thought someone might find that interesting.

sick

Nothing quite like coming home from a three week trip overland across three countries, and then getting sick.  Kim's Malaria sounds like the worst head cold she's ever had, plus the worst GI infection she's ever had, plus a few other symptoms just for fun.  Mine seem to play around, and recently they just look like Giardia.  I had aches and fever, with head cold symptoms, so we thought malaria, but the quick test kit just said no.  We'll check again in another 12 hours.  Fun to show the kids how it works, though -- Chemistry in action.
Normally I just hibernate my way through most illnesses, and in a day or two, I'm back on my feet.  So we'll see what the next couple days hold.

catchup

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind. We're now in Kampala, taking a break for a day while we do last minute shopping, doctor visits and a bit of nothing before the last two long days of driving to return to Bunia.

I was frankly amazed that I made it through yesterday's drive as well as I did, as long as it was. We got on the road before 8am, and arrived at the MAF guesthouse here at 7:30pm. That was no stop for lunch (brought bread and cheese), and a brief stop to buy some sausages for dinner. And a few potty stops, of course, but mostly lots of driving, on the open road, and behind trucks.

I was amazed by the number of trucks we passed. On the road, but especially at the border. The entire length between Kenya customs and Uganda customs (not a small distance at Malaba) had a line of trucks, presumably waiting for processing. We zipped by them, and had our own lines to wait in.

Like the "Red Cross tent," which we were told in immigration we had to do first. So I went back there, and filled out essentially all same info, except for "I packed my own bags, no one has touched them since I packed them, and no one has given me anything to take with me" Or was it "no cough, fever, or runny nose"? Weird medical check. No question of WHO cards, or yellow fever vaccinations, so apparently the swine flu must be a big PR thing.

Then the car. To get into Uganda, we need a temporary import document, so we won't have to pay duties. It costs under $25 for 14 days, which is cheap compared to what duty would be. But the first building, which was unoccupied last time we came through, was actually where I was supposed to apply this time. So I went back there, only the guy wasn't actually there. So I went back to other building to finish the process, after paying at the bank, which required additional bank fees (apparently they have outsourced their cashier). So to get the documents, I dealt with at least five people, the work which was done by one person in Goli, when we entered Uganda from the Congo border (only one person, and significantly less time…)

So, with only two hours, we made it through both border checks, and both customs checks, and we were on our way again. No other police checks stopped us for the rest of the day, either, which was nice.

Hopefully the boys will get to see trouble monkey today...

Culture Shock Thoughts

(from June 24 2009, during the Alphabet workshop)

II spoke with Dilo last night and shared some thoughts that had been bubbling around for awhile on culture shock. He asked me several questions about what its like getting around as a foreigner, and this is some of what came out.

Probably the most helpful piece of information I've received on culture shock is that adjustment comes from being able to predict what people will do and say. If I know what is coming, I won't be shocked by it. I've noticed I've been thinking a lot of being able to predict behavoir, and that it is similar to preparing for things in advance, so I'm not sure if this is an american things, or if this applies to culture shock in all cultures. I was surprised how much this resonated, both with Dilo, and with Marie.

You can know what someone will do or say by one of two basic means. First, you can expect something based on what you would do in a given situation. If someone behaves as you would, the transfer in expectation is straightforward. This is the most basic in-culture way to know what to expect, thought it is also useful in working cross-culturally. Some things are done the same by people in any culture, presumably, and certainly some things will be done the same by the people in the two cultures in question.

Secondly, you can observe and/or study behavior to understand that someone will behave differently than you would in a given situation. In this case the formation of expectation is less straightforward, but it is still possible. To say to onesself, "in this situation, I would do this, but I know that he will not; he will do this other thing" helps us predict the behavior that will, in fact take place.

In my experience, these kinds of expectations are formed in two or three ways. The easiest is to learn from others who have lived through these particular culture shocks and/or studied the culture, either through personal stories, or anthropological studies. When someone can tell you, on the basis of either study or familiarity, that a certain people in a certain situation will do a certain thing, that helps you predict that behavior when you see that people in that situation. This only requires understanding what comes from another's experience, and recognizing it when it occurs in your own.

The other way to learn what to expect in other people's behavior is to personally observe it. In my experience this is generally through suffering culture shock, then asking pointed questions to understand what happened. This method is strongly motivated by the suffering endured, and if one has the endurance to make it through repeated shocks, I think can be quite helpful, even without much advance study. Though advance study will definitely reduce at least the initial shocks, so it would be highly reccommended. Through doing what might be called growing through culture shocks, we can look on past pains and trials in interacting with people of a given culture, try to understand them, and in some measure expect the same behavior in the future.

Growing through culture shock requires two things of us. First we must be willing to look at the pain we have received in a given interaction, and discern and/or acknowledge the pain as the result of a normal intercultural interaction. There is cultural sin and particular sin, and the both hurt, but they can't both be generally applied in the same way. Even if someone sins against you, if you can expect that most people in a culture would do the same thing in the same situation, this information can be helpful in predicting behavior. I bit of reflection will probably reveal that you already so this for culturally appropriate sins in your own culture.

Having acknowledged and/or discerned the pain received in one interaction, we also need to be ready and willing to encounter it again. Predicting behavior does not always reduce all the shock, particularly if the behavior is actually sinful, as well as culturally different. If we are unwilling to encounter this behavior again, we are cutting ourselves off from life and relationship in the host culture. This is, I think, what Crabb calls "self protective sin," preferring to not have relationship than to allow a particular pain to re-occur. But if we are committed to life and relationship in a given culture, and if we accept that pain in a given situation may well recurr (without dire consequences!), we can face the coming pain with courage, and not fear. I believe it is imperative that we understand clearly that God uses pain and suffering for our good, and I believe this is one way He does that. As the scripture says,

"Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good." (1 Peter 4:19 ESV)

Having learned from those that have gone before us, and having grown through the culture shocks encountered personally, it is also possible to extrapolate from this information to predict behavior in situations and cultures not yet experienced. This will, I think, still lead to some shock, but less. Having lived as an individualistic American in two distinct collectivist cultures (Mainland China, and several places in Africa), there are some things I can expect in the one, because I have experienced them in the other. This presumes some understanding of the behavior, and what motivates it. If the motivation is common between the two cultures (e.g., you don't walk alone, because being alone is bad) or situations (e.g., poverty attaching clients to patrons strongly, and also making commission seakers obnoxious), and if we undestand that motivation, we can expect the behavior in the new context.

This last is by no means reliable, which leads to a final general principle. Along with the ability to predict behavior, is the ability to be less shocked by behavior that is different than your own. Each of us probably starts life in a fairly homogenous cultural environment, with people behaving more or less the same as each other (and peer pressure can be strong). As we encounter culture shocks, we see that there are a number of ways that people normally (for them) behave differently than us. Accepting this broadening understanding of other people's behavior makes it easier to take it in stride when we find another way that someone behaves differently. This is, perhaps the difference between adapting to a particular culture (and rigidly expecting the behavior of it), and preparing for culture shock in general.

I recall an Essay by C.S. Lewis that spoke to the effect that a man, once cured of his irrational fears, must still make a moral choice of what to do in the situation. Here as well, prediction is a great help, but it is not the end of the question. Being able to predict behavior, we now need to decide what to do in the situation. But I find this a great thing, because it is a choice that is opened up to us, once we have been able to predict what will come. Unable to expect what approaches, we are only able to sit and wait for it to hit us, like an oncoming train we can't see or hear. But when we see what is coming, we have the choice, and the responsibility to decide, what to do. Do we act in concert with what is coming? Do we react against it? Do I eat the monkey meat, because that is what people do here, or do I abstain? With what consequences, on either side?

I think making these decisions wisely requres knowing ourselves and our limits, and accepting and working within them. I know that people think it is weird that I walkalone. But sometimes, I need to be alone, and I need to walk. So I have a daily choice (and some that can be made for longer periods) of what to do – do I look for someone to walk with, and spend the emotional and personal energy on that time, or do I need to save that energy, and get a little more, by exercising my body, and by being alone (being an introvert, these questions would be different for someone else)? Do I have the energy to go out and talk to people today and/or right now? My impression is that when I do, I should. Not that this would be the same for all people in all situations. But this is the moral choice that we have to face, before God, and with our concience as our guide. Are we avoiding relationships, and hard cultural work? Or are we respecting our limits, and saving our energy for a time when we can be more useful? They may well look the same.

Either way, with the responsibility and power to decide what to do with an action we have seen coming is great. People that see me acting like they do, when other foreigners don't, are generally filled with joy. People that see me consistently behaving differently than they expect people to seem confused or frustrated. I get to be a powerful force in people's lives for good, when I can. And as an American male, it is important to me that I not feel like I'm going through life as an unattached bouy tossed by the waves. Being capable of making choices, and responsible for them and their consequences, just seems right. For me, anyway.

Congo's Got Talent; How About Us?

I heard a great sermon today, in a language I don't understand. The pastor was preaching at a dedication ceremony for some literature (dictionary and pastoral epistles) in the language of his own people group, and I wasn't his target audience, so the fact that I didn't follow doesn't bother me.

He read his text in Swahili first, so others would know the text, and I mostly followed that (mainly because I was reading along in the English). His text was Matthew 25:14-30, the parable of the ten talents.

After reading the text, he really got into it, and worked the crowd and really challenged them. He explained the parable, I understand, then made the application to what we were doing today. Today God has given you all some more resources to invest. What will you do with them? Will you buy them (for as little as $0.50 for the Epistles booklet) and read them and apply them in your lives? Or will you bury them, and wait for your master to come home, and then give your excuses?

It was particularly challenging to think that this man was challenging them to use the resources they had, and they didn't seem that much. He was preaching out of a published Gospel of Matthew. They also have a Gospel of Luke, I think. They just now have the pastoral Epistles, and an AIDS booklet, and alphabet chart, and some story books. It all fit neatly on a short bench, /significantly/ smaller than your nearest Christian bookstore.

If this pastor is challenging his people to invest the spiritual resources they have for eternal benefit, what would he say to us Anglophones, who have the entire Bible in how many translations, and how many commentaries and devotional works besides?

There is no question that our Master gives us different resources, and that it is up to us each to invest them for His good. But if we are to compare what I saw today with what I was raised with, 10 talents v. 5 talents doesn't seem to do it justice. We have been given SOOO much. Are we investing it? Or are we burying it, and preparing to tell our Master that He is the harsh one, and that He shouldn't be mad at us. He has entrusted us with true riches; lets invest them and meet our master with Joy.

Kids after church

nuff said. Finnish's son is on the right.

Me and the Mullahs

Finnish Mullah and family

I ran into Finnish Mullah and his family today. We've been praying for them for many years, as he studies to go back to pastor in his native Sudan. He's studying at the seminary run by the church I visited this morning. He seemed very encouraged by our visit, and they all seem to be doing fine.

Emma and Allen Kiwanuka

I met up this morning again with Emma Kiwanuka, a Ugandan pastor who spoke at our church almost ten years ago.  Since then, their seminary has outgrown the place and found another. The church school seems to be up and running fine, and their clinic at the church is being remodeled.  I spoke with Emma briefly after church, and they seem to be doing fine.

The house not taken ...

This house would have been within our budget, but there were a few things that made it hard to swallow. This house is being offered furnished, and in addition to the pictured furniture (don't worry moms, the broken glass on that dish cabinet is taped), two of the three bedrooms came with built in armoires. perhaps the French would cringe at that word  used in this case -- they were brick walls covered in cement and painted, like much of the rest of the house, leaving little interior room for clothes, etc, in addition to the questionably pleasing exterior.

But the real kicker (or shall I say head-butt-er?) was the door-jam between the dining room and the kitchen, just behind the dish cabinet pictured.  Even after being warned, I still got a goose egg on it.  I checked it afterwards, and standing straight, it comes to the bridge of my nose (about 5' 8").  I guess I should be glad I didn't get a broken nose on it... Turns out all the people working on the house are significantly less than 6' 1", and no one noticed that it might be a problem for someone like me.

Power to the people

I don't know why it took me so long to notice these.  Once I did, I saw them everywhere.  Truck chassis, welded together into power poles.  Of course.  Why not?  I understand power costs $20/mo. for a household, however much you use (and however much you get!) Someone said that there is a lot of disrepair and inefficiency in the power delivery because the people working on the lines don't live where they would get power themselves.  But if $60 is a good wage for a night guard, I doubt he would be paying that bill anyway.  Twice in one week I saw a notes on the desks of someone I visited (once at a colleague's house, once in a university office) that were written in bold, red ink, "to be cut off in 24 hrs!!"  I wonder how often they get those notices.

The house not seen ...

This picture is of a house supposedly available that a colleague took for me, but we tried to see it on three consecutive days, and couldn't.  He was supposedly there every afternoon.  But not those three ...

Fun with wires

This is the fuse "box" for our "best case" house.  I'm told the hole is there because there was an electrician in the attic recently, hooking things up.  We'll need to figure out how good city power is to this place, and how we can/should coordinate it with solar panels -- which will need to be wired in here, as well.

plumbing, anyone?

This is a shot of the kitchen in our "best case" house.  Notice the visible gap between the sink and the drain. this is supposed to be redone (with the cabinetry completely replaced), but what will it look like afterward?
No offense meant, whatsoever, to those plumbers (nor their wives!) who did actually offer to come over and help us set up house, had we been here in their timeline...

Wanna buy a house?

In my house hunting trip last week, I found many houses unfinished, but "ready" to rent, that is, to take a down payment (of rent) large enough to give the landlord enough to finish the house.  One house needed $11,000.  I understand that some of us with justice issues might balk at giving someone an interest (and collateral) free loan so that he could have a house that you could then pay him to live in. But there doesn't seem to be any other way into the rental market here.

So I asked about the market to buy, which is basically people who have given up hope on finishing their house, and are willing (or need) to sell it.  This house was going for $37k.  Yes that is grass growing inside.  Yes there is no roof.  Yes the forms are still on the cement pillars. And local advice is that it would take another $20k to finish it.  And how much time?  Back to the rental market...

acclimation

We had a little trouble with Joel exhibiting irrational fears a couple weeks ago, on our arrival in Kenya. A neighbor's little rat dog and ants (seen or otherwise) made him unable to leave his bed without shoes or socks, and the house without adult supervision. But this week we went to an elephant orphanage, and I saw this sight, which makes it look like he's getting along just fine. This is Joel, watching elephants, and holding the hand of a perfect stranger.

Catering in Kenya

To all of you I have ever heard complaining about your long and/or irregular hours, hard work, and annoying and demanding bosses and clients in the catering business, be glad you don't work for this guy.