I think I've heard of these verses defining a tight in and out group, with both sides clearly defining themselves, but I took a closer look at their contexts, and I was a bit surprised at what I found.
Mark 9 reads: 33And they came to Capernaum. And when he was in the house he asked them, "What were you discussing on the way?" 34But they kept silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. 35And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, "If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all." 36And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them, 37 "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me." 38 John said to him, "Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name,[f] and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us." 39But Jesus said, "Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. 40 For the one who is not against us is for us. 41For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.
So the immediate context of the first, inclusive, statement is a question of his disciples, who want to stop someone from casting out demons, "because he was not following us." John says "we tried", and I wonder if they had then failed, and were asking Jesus to back them up. The larger context shows Jesus having just criticized his disciples for seeking to be the greatest -- and saying that being the last, and receiving children, is what counts in his kingdom. One must wonder if the "not following us" referred to submitting to the disciples, or to Jesus. How much was this question tied to Jesus teaching his disciples not to lord their power, either over each other or over others? This would also make sense of Jesus' comment "no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me." If someone is truly experiencing Jesus' power, they will come to him. We don't have to worry about where they fit, if anywhere, in our hierarchy.
This is born out in the abbreviated account given in Luke 9: 46 An argument arose among them as to which of them was the greatest. 47But Jesus, knowing the reasoning of their hearts, took a child and put him by his side 48and said to them, "Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is the one who is great." 49 John answered, "Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he does not follow with us." 50But Jesus said to him, "Do not stop him, for the one who is not against you is for you."
The second, exclusive statement, comes from a conversation with the pharisees, who criticize him after he heals a demon oppressed man:
Matt 12: 22 Then a demon-oppressed man who was blind and mute was brought to him, and he healed him, so that the man spoke and saw. 23 And all the people were amazed, and said, "Can this be the Son of David?" 24But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, "It is only by Beelzebul, the prince of demons, that this man casts out demons." 25 Knowing their thoughts, he said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. 26And if Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? 27And if I cast out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they will be your judges. 28But if it is by the Spirit of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. 29Or how can someone enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then indeed he may plunder his house. 30 Whoever is not with me is against me, and wh oever does not gather with me scatters. 31 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32And whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.
Jesus' statement is part of a larger criticism of people that stand against him. He says that divided kingdoms don't last. He says that they are criticizing their own (who also cast out demons). He says that if his power is from God, it is bigger than this one healing. You can't steal from a strong man unless you've dealt with him first (meaning that, if Jesus is stealing souls from Satan, he must have already dealt with Satan?). Then comes his if you're not with me you're against me, followed by if you're not with me, you scatter. Then follow some strong statements about blasphemy, and what can be forgiven. Namely, much, except if you're blaspheming the Holy Spirit (which he seems to be implying they were doing, attributing his works to Satan). Apparently one can even be forgiven of speaking against Jesus, but speaking against the Holy Spirit is another matter.
So he criticizes the pharisees for being internally inconsistent in their criticism of his work, as well as missing a much bigger thing than they thought. This isn't two sides, and you'd better pick which one you're on, this is the Creator of the universe against anyone else who would set himself up as a god. There is only one Rock of stability in this world, and there is only one question so important you really can't afford to get it wrong. And they were in the process of stumbling over that rock, and getting that question (i.e., by what power does Jesus work?) dead wrong.
The importance of this question is shown by the fact that, when they brought it up later (in Matt 21:23-27, Mark 11:27-33, and Luke 20:1-8), they didn't criticize the source of Jesus' power directly, but asked him where it came from. And when Jesus through the question back at them, they refused to take a public stand. This was, understandably, in part for political reasons:
Matt 21: 23 And when he entered the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came up to him as he was teaching, and said, "By what authority are you doing these things, and who gave you this authority?" 24Jesus answered them, "I also will ask you one question, and if you tell me the answer, then I also will tell you by what authority I do these things. 25The baptism of John, from where did it come? From heaven or from man?" And they discussed it among themselves, saying, "If we say, 'From heaven,' he will say to us, 'Why then did you not believe him?' 26But if we say, 'From man,' we are afraid of the crowd, for they all hold that John was a prophet." 27So they answered Jesus, "We do not know." And he said to them, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.
I find it sad that the don't seem to engage the question, and claim to not know, when "we don't care to take a public stand" might have been a more truthful answer. We cannot take a man (either John or Jesus) as from God, but not listen to him. And if we take a miracle working man to be acting on his own (or Satanic) power, we need to be ready for the consequences. There is no decision that doesn't have consequences. But in trying to take the middle road themselves, the cut the legs out from underneath their own implied criticism of Jesus.
But we digress. In Matt 12 Jesus criticizes the Pharisees for their inconsistency, as well as for not recognizing the power of God, and the importance of that question. We see the same account repeated in Luke 11: 14 Now he was casting out a demon that was mute. When the demon had gone out, the mute man spoke, and the people marveled. 15But some of them said, "He casts out demons by Beelzebul, the prince of demons," 16while others, to test him, kept seeking from him a sign from heaven. 17 But he, knowing their thoughts, said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls. 18And if Satan also is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? For you say that I cast out demons by Beelzebul. 19And if I cast out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they will be your judges. 20But if it is by the finger of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. 21When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are safe; 22 but when one stronger than he attacks him and overcomes him, he takes away his armor in which he trusted and divides his spoil. 23 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.
So, when asked for backup, Jesus tells his disciples to stop hindering people who don't follow them yet work miracles in Jesus' name-- perhaps as an application of the principle that their authority is one of servanthood, not lordship. And Jesus answers the Pharisees' criticisms by saying that they are not only bad debaters, but they have missed the point of the power of God -- and in not coming to them, they will lose more than this debate.
So it would seem that these two verses are not meant in the same context at all. They weren't meant to be put together, ever, I suppose. If you're trying to follow Jesus but also want to shut down other people working in Jesus' name, back off, calm down, and let the power of Jesus work. But if you're trying to shut down Jesus himself, back off and think about what you're doing, because you can't afford to get this question wrong.
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