Dan in Real Life

I just got back from seeing Dan in Real Life. I was impressed, more than I expected to be. I'd read reviews, and it looked like your average mixed up love triangle kind of movie, with your typical Hollywood romance ending, making null or wrong conclusions about what true love is. Well, it still did some of that...
But the humor, while intended for adults at times, wasn't crass. No explicit love making. One of Dan's brothers was in a stable marriage, however much he wanted something else a time or two. The other brother, who brought "home" the heroine, stayed true to his brother, even after the apparent betrayal.
While some don't think this line important, I was glad that they talked about how to control their relationship while it was inappropriate, and waited to do anything else until she had broken up with his brother. Not the "Tom Hanks steals Meg Ryan's heart while she's still in love with someone else, but all's fair in love and war, eh?" movie. Not that it felt any different to the brother, and they could have been more transparent.
Many scenes in the movie (like when the new lovers are discovered) are clearly manufactured for situational humor value, but this is a Steve Carrell, so what were we expecting? If you come looking for a goofy take on the mishaps during a weekend getaway of an otherwise stable and loving family (somewhat distinct from his role in Little Miss Sunshine...) You just may enjoy it enough to buy it.
We probably won't, because the null ending basically left the impression that the 14 year-old was right about love all along -- not the father who was happily married 15 years before the death of his wife. Having seen "Love at first sight (or at least less than three days)" both from the inside and the outside, He seems converted from "it's not love" to "it's all that counts in love". I would rather he had said, "Wow, this is a lot more powerful than I had thought, so I shouldn't ignore it. But let's take some time, get to know each other better, and make sure this is a long term good decision. Then we'll get the best of both worlds". I loved seeing him humbled, and to have his hypocrisy unmasked. But I'm not sure that what we find underneath is any better than the mask itself.

Commercialism indicted, again

In celebration of 'black Friday', I left the house this morning at 5:40am, to do shopping on the day after thanksgiving, for the first time in probably 10 years. Something about the crowds, the commercialism, and the half-sincere lures have kept me home doing something more valuable to me -- just about anything... But I went today for a few reasons. I saw a couple things I wanted to check out, that i really wanted to get anyway. Also, it will be many years before I'm back here and able to observe this American ritual, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Perhaps more important, I had a shopping partner, and one with an "in and out quick" shopping ethic. The first store we hit opened a few minutes before 6am, with 15ish people waiting outside, and more arriving. Even knowing what we wanted, it took a second to find it, and then one item couldn't be pulled off the shelf without "customer assistance". Given that there were 4-6 crazed customers for each employee, that took awhile. When we finally got to the counter, there were 20-25 people behind us waiting to check out. And it wasn't even 6:20 yet. The next store advertised $2.99 DVD's, so we thought we'd see what was left. Since the store had opened at 5am, we knew that we'd be getting pickings at 6:30, but we weren't prepared for what we saw. I think it was due to fire code or something, because they were letting people in one at a time, and there was a line out the door. The line went down the long front of the store, and around the corner. Needless to say, we went on to the next store. Which, though it had a full parking lot, didn't have a line out front. But maybe it should have. The store itself was easy enough to navigate, but the checkout line went to the back of the store, along the back of it, and then back to the front -- something like 200 people. Fortunately they were each calmly waiting their turns, and I was able to leave the store and be back in bead by 6:40am. Later, in the afternoon, I went back to the store that I hadn't even entered, just to see if anything was left. But no. Lots of cheap junk, and lots of regularly priced stuff still hanging out. So what made me go out twice? Did I really believe that everything would be as cool as the ads promised? Did I really believe that this was a better time to shop than others? Did I really believe that this was anything other than a day to get the stores back "in the black"? Did I imagine that this would be particularly good for me, and not for them? Why would I want to get ahead of all the other guys subjecting themselves to these difficulties to get more stuff? Perhaps this is what the scriptures refer to as the deceitfulness of riches? Anyway, I think that anything that implies they're on my side is a lie.

I want a house

I was thinking today about my life and work, and realized that I really want a house. Having lived in far too many different places in our eight years of marriage, and most of them apartments in cities, I really want to live somewhere where I have a stake in its prosperity, and where there is room to expand.

Having lived under the restrictions imposed by landlords, from the crazy rule that all walls (even the internal ones!) had to remain this certain off-white, to the guys who jack your rent with no apparent reason or concern, I want to own something. Call it raging against the man. Call it wanting some self-determination in my otherwise turbulent life.

Much of that time has also been sharing an office with our 9month old, who will only want more and more space (and her own bathroom, someday) over time. This year we've had a bit of a garden (and only a bit of time to spend in it, but I guess that speaks more of my priorities than my space available. So I'd like four bedrooms, or space to construct an office apart (possibly the better option, anyway).

Enough room (and walls?) to segregate our living functions (caring for the house, children, etc, office work) so they can work at full capacity without butting against each other for geography, as they currently do.

Anyway, as long as I'm dreaming...

But I realize that this is not the end of life, and some or all of these things may well need to be sacrificed for something more important.

Pillow fights

This morning my children finally caught on to pillows as a medium of entertainment that doesn't have to involve adults. The five year old runs around and collects all the pillows, then piles them systematically on the 9 month old, who pushes them off as quickly as she can. Ultimately she is buried, at which point everyone sees just how much fun this game is.

Occasionally she gets scared, or hurt, or from some reason she starts to cry or whine, and I teach the boys to back off and comfort her. They got the idea surprisingly quickly, and I was unexpectedly pleased at how infrequently they needed to back off. It was almost as if they are learning to be gentle with her. Or maybe it is because they're throwing pillows on her instead of legos -- or, say, matchbox cars...

My Second Post, again

Here I am in Thunderbird, setting up my ability to post with only a POP mail connection. If you know what that is, it's much more useful where we work than a web interface. This pic is a map of Paris for my Grandmother, who was wondering how to tell the Rive Gauche from the Rive Droit. Apparently it is clear if you assume you're coming up the river from the southeast.

First Post

This is mostly a post to see how this work, but while I'm here I'll just say that these last five months have been hard. I'm looking for ways of working through that, and hoping that this medium might help us better connect with folks that have not been living outside the US the last four years...