(from June 24 2009, during the Alphabet workshop)
II spoke with Dilo last night and shared some thoughts that had been bubbling around for awhile on culture shock. He asked me several questions about what its like getting around as a foreigner, and this is some of what came out.
Probably the most helpful piece of information I've received on culture shock is that adjustment comes from being able to predict what people will do and say. If I know what is coming, I won't be shocked by it. I've noticed I've been thinking a lot of being able to predict behavoir, and that it is similar to preparing for things in advance, so I'm not sure if this is an american things, or if this applies to culture shock in all cultures. I was surprised how much this resonated, both with Dilo, and with Marie.
You can know what someone will do or say by one of two basic means. First, you can expect something based on what you would do in a given situation. If someone behaves as you would, the transfer in expectation is straightforward. This is the most basic in-culture way to know what to expect, thought it is also useful in working cross-culturally. Some things are done the same by people in any culture, presumably, and certainly some things will be done the same by the people in the two cultures in question.
Secondly, you can observe and/or study behavior to understand that someone will behave differently than you would in a given situation. In this case the formation of expectation is less straightforward, but it is still possible. To say to onesself, "in this situation, I would do this, but I know that he will not; he will do this other thing" helps us predict the behavior that will, in fact take place.
In my experience, these kinds of expectations are formed in two or three ways. The easiest is to learn from others who have lived through these particular culture shocks and/or studied the culture, either through personal stories, or anthropological studies. When someone can tell you, on the basis of either study or familiarity, that a certain people in a certain situation will do a certain thing, that helps you predict that behavior when you see that people in that situation. This only requires understanding what comes from another's experience, and recognizing it when it occurs in your own.
The other way to learn what to expect in other people's behavior is to personally observe it. In my experience this is generally through suffering culture shock, then asking pointed questions to understand what happened. This method is strongly motivated by the suffering endured, and if one has the endurance to make it through repeated shocks, I think can be quite helpful, even without much advance study. Though advance study will definitely reduce at least the initial shocks, so it would be highly reccommended. Through doing what might be called growing through culture shocks, we can look on past pains and trials in interacting with people of a given culture, try to understand them, and in some measure expect the same behavior in the future.
Growing through culture shock requires two things of us. First we must be willing to look at the pain we have received in a given interaction, and discern and/or acknowledge the pain as the result of a normal intercultural interaction. There is cultural sin and particular sin, and the both hurt, but they can't both be generally applied in the same way. Even if someone sins against you, if you can expect that most people in a culture would do the same thing in the same situation, this information can be helpful in predicting behavior. I bit of reflection will probably reveal that you already so this for culturally appropriate sins in your own culture.
Having acknowledged and/or discerned the pain received in one interaction, we also need to be ready and willing to encounter it again. Predicting behavior does not always reduce all the shock, particularly if the behavior is actually sinful, as well as culturally different. If we are unwilling to encounter this behavior again, we are cutting ourselves off from life and relationship in the host culture. This is, I think, what Crabb calls "self protective sin," preferring to not have relationship than to allow a particular pain to re-occur. But if we are committed to life and relationship in a given culture, and if we accept that pain in a given situation may well recurr (without dire consequences!), we can face the coming pain with courage, and not fear. I believe it is imperative that we understand clearly that God uses pain and suffering for our good, and I believe this is one way He does that. As the scripture says,
"Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good." (1 Peter 4:19 ESV)
Having learned from those that have gone before us, and having grown through the culture shocks encountered personally, it is also possible to extrapolate from this information to predict behavior in situations and cultures not yet experienced. This will, I think, still lead to some shock, but less. Having lived as an individualistic American in two distinct collectivist cultures (Mainland China, and several places in Africa), there are some things I can expect in the one, because I have experienced them in the other. This presumes some understanding of the behavior, and what motivates it. If the motivation is common between the two cultures (e.g., you don't walk alone, because being alone is bad) or situations (e.g., poverty attaching clients to patrons strongly, and also making commission seakers obnoxious), and if we undestand that motivation, we can expect the behavior in the new context.
This last is by no means reliable, which leads to a final general principle. Along with the ability to predict behavior, is the ability to be less shocked by behavior that is different than your own. Each of us probably starts life in a fairly homogenous cultural environment, with people behaving more or less the same as each other (and peer pressure can be strong). As we encounter culture shocks, we see that there are a number of ways that people normally (for them) behave differently than us. Accepting this broadening understanding of other people's behavior makes it easier to take it in stride when we find another way that someone behaves differently. This is, perhaps the difference between adapting to a particular culture (and rigidly expecting the behavior of it), and preparing for culture shock in general.
I recall an Essay by C.S. Lewis that spoke to the effect that a man, once cured of his irrational fears, must still make a moral choice of what to do in the situation. Here as well, prediction is a great help, but it is not the end of the question. Being able to predict behavior, we now need to decide what to do in the situation. But I find this a great thing, because it is a choice that is opened up to us, once we have been able to predict what will come. Unable to expect what approaches, we are only able to sit and wait for it to hit us, like an oncoming train we can't see or hear. But when we see what is coming, we have the choice, and the responsibility to decide, what to do. Do we act in concert with what is coming? Do we react against it? Do I eat the monkey meat, because that is what people do here, or do I abstain? With what consequences, on either side?
I think making these decisions wisely requres knowing ourselves and our limits, and accepting and working within them. I know that people think it is weird that I walkalone. But sometimes, I need to be alone, and I need to walk. So I have a daily choice (and some that can be made for longer periods) of what to do – do I look for someone to walk with, and spend the emotional and personal energy on that time, or do I need to save that energy, and get a little more, by exercising my body, and by being alone (being an introvert, these questions would be different for someone else)? Do I have the energy to go out and talk to people today and/or right now? My impression is that when I do, I should. Not that this would be the same for all people in all situations. But this is the moral choice that we have to face, before God, and with our concience as our guide. Are we avoiding relationships, and hard cultural work? Or are we respecting our limits, and saving our energy for a time when we can be more useful? They may well look the same.
Either way, with the responsibility and power to decide what to do with an action we have seen coming is great. People that see me acting like they do, when other foreigners don't, are generally filled with joy. People that see me consistently behaving differently than they expect people to seem confused or frustrated. I get to be a powerful force in people's lives for good, when I can. And as an American male, it is important to me that I not feel like I'm going through life as an unattached bouy tossed by the waves. Being capable of making choices, and responsible for them and their consequences, just seems right. For me, anyway.
